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22 July 2012 @ 11:26 am
about trees and empty forests. chapter 7.  
Title: About trees and empty forests. Chapter 7.
Author: xonthefloor
Pairing: Dave Karofsky/Kurt Hummel.
Rating: Nc17.
Warnings: Strip and lap dances. Misunderstood prostitution. Bulimia. Depression. Breath play.
Spoilers: Season One and Two.
Beta: Ella Greggs.
Word Count: 37oo this chapter.
Genre: Romance/Angst/Drama.
Disclaimer: Pfht, if I owned Glee, Blaine wouldn't be on it.
Summary: It’s been five years since Kurt Hummel and Dave Karofsky left Lima, following different paths. Now their lives are far from being what they dreamed for themselves and when they meet again, Dave mistakes Kurt for a hooker. Kurt doesn’t tell him different.
A/N: I started plotting this fic way before the Prom episode. So in this fic, Karofsky hasn't apologized yet.




Chapter 7

This ‘whore’ situation is going too well for Kurt’s liking.

September is just beginning and Kurt hates the fact that the winter is getting closer, but for the first time in a long time, he has things other than his debts and his health to think about.

It’s been almost three weeks since he and Dave first crossed paths, and two weeks since Kurt became Dave's hooker.

If Kurt’s honest with himself, the only bad thing about being a prostitute is the awful moment when Dave pays him, the moment when he can't pretend they are just lovers.

Aside from that admittedly humiliating and degrading moment, Kurt can’t manage to dislike what he’s doing and he tries not to think about how disturbing that fact actually is.

The truth is that the last couple of years have been quite hard for Kurt. Of course he never dwells on all his bad luck, since that would depress him deeply and he can’t afford the luxury of missing even one day of work. He simply doesn't have the option of staying in bed all day, moping about his shitty life. Kurt must endure it and deal with it, just like he's always done with hardships. So he leads a plain, lonely and monotonous life, working in two places he despises, doing things that he despises, all his energies focused on paying his debts, debts he incurred because his health is fucked up.

Yet, now he realizes just how badly he was doing because now he has something to compare it to - how content he feels being Dave’s whore. If he stops to think about it, that's pretty depressing.

So instead Kurt focuses on the fact that he needs the money.

And Kurt likes having the company of someone. True, Dave is a client, not a friend; they never really talk or share anything important, but still he likes the fact that there’s someone somewhere waiting for him, someone who wants him around for whatever reason. And is not just 'someone'; Dave is attached to Kurt’s old, good life and all the things about it that he misses so much. When he's with Dave, his family and his home don't seem quite so far away.

Dave wants him for sex of course, and Kurt can deal with that.

Better seeing Dave than debt collectors, or ER doctors, or nurses with shots and meds and nebulizers.

He’s also enjoying this ‘being a hooker’ thing because it’s like he’s able to be another person, at least for a while. Dave doesn’t know him and he doesn’t know his situation.

Kurt can leave all the misery his life provides on the other side of Dave’s door, and become like Vivian in Pretty Woman: sexy, playful, friendly, confident. And those are things that Kurt has never been, or hasn’t been in a long while. It’s almost like taking a vacation from himself.

He gets other benefits besides money and self-confidence from being Dave’s hooker. Dave’s apartment is always warm, and Kurt digs warm places. Dave is a bit distant, but he always treats him fine. He even invited him for dinner the last night they spent together, and it has been a long time since Kurt ate so well.

Then the sex is pretty amazing, and what’s even more amazing, it's helping Kurt feel more and more comfortable with himself in the bedroom department. When he’s with Dave, Kurt acts bolder, much more straightforward and much less bashful; he enjoys being seductive for Dave, as much as he enjoys feeling sexy and desired. He never felt that way before.

And Dave happens to be a very attractive guy. He looks almost exactly like he did in high school, only his hair is a bit longer now. Of course, back at McKinley, Kurt never considered his looks. Dave wasn't Dave, he was Karofsky, and Karofsky meant only nasty slurs and slushies in the hallways, or shoves against the lockers, or even forceful stolen kisses and threats.

He’s not developing a crush on Dave, since Dave pays him to have sex and hookers shouldn't get crushes on their clients, but Kurt can appreciate his looks much better now. Dave’s so strong and masculine that Kurt has absolutely no trouble getting turned on pretty quickly when they’re together. Why did he never pick men like Dave to date? Kurt doesn’t even know.

If only he could get Dave fully naked …

On top of everything, he likes surrendering to Dave’s will. Maybe it helps that Dave never asked him to do anything weird, but every time he gets inside Dave’s apartment, Kurt can give himself the luxury of disconnecting his brain, letting worries about work and health and money slip away, and handing control of his life to someone else; letting someone else make the decisions for him.

In addition, Kurt’s discovering that he has a few kinks of his own. Like rough sex. He doesn’t really know what happened to the guy he used to be, a guy who always went for soft, caring and romantic intercourse and felt awkward the whole time he was doing it.

And then there’s the choking. Kurt still can’t believe that something he considers so hardcore turns him on so much, but the first time Dave put his hand around his neck, blocking his air, it was like he was shoved against the greatest orgasm. At first, he was unsure if this was Dave’s kink or just a happy accident. The old Kurt would never have been able to ask his lover to choke him again, but the new Kurt managed to put his need for greater pleasure above his embarrassment and he got another blinding orgasm, provided by Dave’s rough thrusts accompanied by Dave’s hands squeezing his neck tightly.

Kurt can’t explain what turns him on so much about the choking, but he’s curious and a bit excited now that he knows this is Dave’s kink as well, and that Dave seems to know much more about these things than what he's already showed. Kurt doesn’t feel embarrassed about his brand new preferences in sex. The orgasms are amazing, so screw his prudishness.

It’s weird that someone like Dave, someone who’s so good at sex, can have so many issues. Because Dave does have issues. Kurt's noticed, but he does his best not to worry about it. Kurt has plenty of his own stuff to worry about. So when he heads to Dave’s apartment for the third consecutive Monday evening, Kurt focuses just on the good things that staying at Dave's means.

As pathetic it sounds, Kurt likes what he has right now, he's content, and he's holding onto it.

When he arrives to Dave’s, he's greeted with a slow and sensual kiss. Dave is a very good kisser, Kurt noticed some time ago. Kurt smiles at him, not only because he’s supposed to be friendly but also because he’s genuinely happy to see him.

“Hello, big boy,” Kurt greets him, wrapping his arms around Dave’s waist and Dave does the same with him.

“Hey you,” Dave pecks him on his lips.

Kurt quickly notices that there’s food laid out on the dining table and also the coffee table and his brows go up in surprise. “Dinner again?”

Dave shrugs, nonchalantly. “It was okay the last time, so why not? Unless you’re not hungry, you don’t have to-”

“Hey, it’s fine,” Kurt cuts him off with a smile, since Dave looked like he was getting uncomfortable. After all, Kurt is not going to complain about being offered a nice, tasty dinner.

Kurt is not sure how to make Dave understand that he really doesn’t mind doing whatever Dave asks him to. Kurt supposes Dave finds it hard to ask him to do non-sexual stuff because Dave doesn't do these things with other prostitutes. Maybe Dave is treating Kurt differently since he knows who Kurt used to be. That is, presuming Dave has been with other prostitutes. Maybe Kurt is his first prostitute and he's just not sure of the 'rules'.

“So what are we having?” Kurt inquires, taking off his jacket and hanging up his bag.

“Italian.”

“Oh, fancy,” he muses, heading to his spot at the dining table and taking a seat. “Do you always order out?”

Dave fidgets in his place for some reason. “Cooking for yourself when you live alone seems kind of pointless.”

“I like to cook,” Kurt informs him, since it’s something not too personal. He normally tries not to talk about himself, since he really doesn’t want to let Dave know about his shitty life. “I hardly ever do it now.”

And just like the last time, they start a random conversation as they eat dinner together, or not really together since they are sitting at opposites sides of the room with their backs to each other.

Kurt finds Dave’s issue about eating in front of people awfully strange but he doesn’t ask Dave about it, since it’s not his place; Kurt’s just his hooker. Yet, he’s aware that it’s pretty odd, since it’s a quirk that obviously affects almost every aspect of Dave’s life, and Kurt is actually very curious about it.

He’s just as curious about why Dave never takes his t-shirt off. Never. They have had sex plenty of times, and even if they get don't get sweaty and dirty, Dave excuses himself and returns to the room wearing a fresh tee. So far, Kurt has never seen Dave fully naked, and considering how hot Dave is, Kurt would really love to get him fully naked.

Honestly, Kurt really can’t imagine what’s under Dave’s tees that could be so bad that he feels compelled to keep his torso constantly covered. Whenever Kurt touches Dave’s chest and belly he doesn't feel anything but soft and tender skin; maybe Dave has horrible scars that Kurt can't feel though the fabric? That’s a possibility.

They continue chatting amicably through their meal, and Kurt is feeling good. Almost too good.

“You shouldn't pamper me with delicious food,” Kurt tells Dave playfully when he’s almost finished his pasta. “I might get used to it.”

Dave snorts. “I really don’t mind, and you could use a few extra pounds anyway,” he replies lightly.

Kurt’s face falls.

“I guess, you’re right,” he says, trying to hold back his sudden anger.

There was no malice in Dave’s voice and Kurt knows it was just an off-hand comment, but he feels utterly offended and humiliated. Dave’s trying to feed him? What the hell? Kurt is well aware that he’s somewhat underweight since he doesn’t eat as healthy as he should, but that’s his God damn problem. He doesn’t live on the streets destitute, unable to buy a freaking sandwich for lunch or something.

It’s not like Kurt starves himself; he’s just too busy and then too tired to eat. He often simply forgets to eat. One of his doctors scolded him about this, telling Kurt he doesn’t feel hungry most of the time because his stomach has shrunk due to lack of food, not because he doesn't need to eat, and considering how often he gets sick, good nutrition is very important. But when most days you work the entire afternoon and the entire night, you’re life rhythm changes and when you’re back home the last thing you think about is cooking something; and he can't afford organic produce, anyway. Of course, the cost of the visit to his doctor where he received this lecture about eating properly simply added to the vicious cycle of debts and working to pay them and not eating right.

So this dinner thing is just a charade that Dave goes through so he can feed him? Who the hell does Dave think he is! Kurt tries to conceal his anger; it’s obvious that Dave wants to pretend he's just casually buying food for the both of them.

Kurt remembers the previous night - Dave had food waiting there but insisted he wasn’t hungry, so clearly the only intention behind that dinner, too, was to make Kurt eat something.

A million thoughts pass through his head. Is he just Dave’s charity case? Is this why Dave keeps calling him to spend the night?

Is the sex just an excuse so Dave can give him money because he believes Kurt's too poor to even feed himself? Kurt can’t believe it. It’s even worse than having Dave think he gets fucked by random guys in a dirty wooden booth for seventy dollars!

But Kurt sticks to his hooker act, and doesn’t show Dave how furious he’s feeling. He helps Dave clean the tables and after putting the plates in the dishwasher, they head to bed just like they did the previous Monday night.

Kurt does his best to relax; sex is next and at least that’s pleasant, even if it’s Dave’s undercover way to put money in his pocket.

He starts feeling self-conscious again though. Does Dave even want him here? Dave gets off when they have sex, that’s for sure, but does Dave enjoy having sex with him?

Dave is only pitying him. Of course he is; who wouldn’t pity a hooker? Kurt would feel sorry if he found out that someone he used to know became a prostitute. That must be the only explanation for why Dave is so nice to him in bed. As far as he knows, clients are paying so they can get off; they don’t really care whether the hooker has a good time.

He quickly forgets about everything when Dave starts kissing him, responding instantly to his affections. His body melts into Dave’s touches, and he can’t stay mad when Dave starts undressing him, kissing and nibbling every part of skin he’s exposing.

Kurt surrenders completely to the building lust when he finds himself fully naked on Dave’s bed with Dave’s rough hands roaming all over his body. Dave strokes his cock, making Kurt moan loudly, and before he even knows what’s happening, Dave’s hot mouth is engulfing his cock.

“Oh, fucking God!” Kurt grunts, in pleasure and in despair.

So far, in spite of having multiple rounds of sex each time they're together, there has never been blow-jobs. There should have been, since it must be the most common thing between hookers and clients, but they just have intercourse.

But this is Dave, his client, going down on him, the hooker, and Kurt's sure it should be the other way around.

Kurt fists the sheets, arching his back in ecstasy and desperation because part of him wants to tell Dave to stop, because Dave shouldn’t be pleasing him since he’s paying him, but the other part is too far gone in bliss. It’s been ages since the last time someone sucked Kurt off, and Dave’s doing a really amazing job. The way Dave presses his lips around his cock, while he runs his tongue all over the underside as he bobs his head up and down... Kurt can’t even stand it.

He’s going to come very soon.

He's still angry, though. Why is Dave doing this to him? Kurt doesn’t want his pity! Kurt doesn’t want Dave giving him money, or buying him food, or giving him great orgasms because he feels sorry for that sassy fashionista he used to be who fell so disgracefully.

Dave is giving him money for sex, and Kurt can’t even earn it by pleasing Dave!

Dave grunts and moans around Kurt’s cock and by the way that Dave’s moving, Kurt knows Dave’s touching himself. They both build to their orgasms, and in a matter of seconds Kurt comes fast and hard, not having time enough to warn Dave. Dave doesn’t seem to mind though, since he continues sucking his cock all the way through his orgasm, swallowing his cum while Kurt’s body spasms violently on the bed.

Kurt’s still writhing when Dave removes his mouth from his cock, just to moan as he comes himself by jerking himself off.

As he slowly starts recovering from his orgasm, Kurt doesn’t feel any less mad. On the contrary, he feels even angrier because he’s whoring himself to someone who pity fucks him! Seriously, who does Dave think he is? Kurt doesn’t need him, or his money, or his food, or his sex.

He hates himself for letting himself feel good around Dave, and enjoying Dave’s stupid food, and paying his bills with Dave’s money, and falling into bliss with the incredible orgasms Dave provides him.

They have full sex again, just a few minutes after the blow-job incident, and Kurt forgets again about his anger. But while he’s recovering from his second incredible orgasm of the night and Dave is caringly covering him with sheets and warm blankets – the bastard - Kurt pretends to be very tired, turning his back to Dave, and fakes sleep just so he doesn't have to deal with Dave’s stupidly handsome face.

Kurt is indeed quite tired, but his thoughts don’t let him sleep. He thinks about this whole arrangement for what seems like forever, which is actually a full hour according to Dave’s alarm clock. Dave seemed to have fallen asleep long ago, but then Kurt feels Dave move in bed. Then Dave actually gets up from bed and Kurt shuts his eyes, remaining very still so Dave won’t figure out that he’s still awake.

Kurt hears Dave quietly head to the bathroom, silently as if he was trying not to wake him up, and close the door carefully behind him.

Kurt sighs in relief once Dave disappears from his sight. The tangle of thoughts from before are just starting to mess with his head when the sounds coming from the bathroom startle him: Dave’s throwing up again.

Concerned, Kurt quickly sits up and debates whether to run to Dave's aid or stay in bed. He’s mad at Dave, but Dave is sick again, so he should probably go to see if he needs something.

But he’s mad at Dave, and that weighs more right now. Kurt is only his whore, not his nurse. He gets ten times sicker and deals with it all by himself, so he’s sure that Dave doesn’t need a hooker to rub his back while he throws up.

Kurt stays in bed, but it’s impossible for not to cringe while he listens to Dave obviously emptying his stomach. He finally relaxes a bit when he hears the toilet flushing and then the water in the sink running. He quickly lies back in pretended sleep mode, and Dave exits the bathroom, moving as silently as before.

Kurt has to fight the urge of asking Dave if he’s alright, at least. Dave might be ill, since it’s the second night that he’s throwing up and it’s been almost a week since the last time that happened. Well, at least that Kurt is aware of.

Yet, Dave doesn’t sound sick. He returns to the bed not making a sound. Kurt hears him sigh, and then nothing.

Kurt frowns since that's not how sick people act; Dave just got up like nothing happened, threw up and came back to bed, still like nothing had happened?

Oh, fuck no.

Everything hits him in a half-second: Dave's quirk about not being able to eat in public and how Dave refuses to get fully naked, and now he’s throwing up, again, without really being ill, or at least not looking like he’s ill. Is Dave… bulimic?

Kurt’s blood turns cold, and he quickly dismisses those silly thoughts because the idea is ridiculous. Dave’s a handsome grown man, not an insecure teenage girl. Dave can’t be bulimic.

But then, Kurt remembers all the pills in Dave’s cabinet and realizes that obviously Dave’s not completely okay with himself. Is it possible that Dave has an eating disorder?

Kurt wants to dismiss it as a stupid idea, but the more he thinks about it, the more convinced he is. It can’t be just coincidence that Dave refuses to eat in public. Is that a way of denying himself food? Lord, the last time they were together, Dave claimed not to be hungry and only ate just to make him eat. Did Kurt force him to eat when he didn't want to?

Now Kurt feels guilty.

He can’t comprehend it, though, and he doesn’t want to believe it. Dave is beyond handsome; Dave’s hot, so how can he not like the way he looks? Does Dave believe he’s fat? Kurt is aware that Dave is not a thin man, but he's hardly huge. He's big and strong, and yes, he has a few extra pounds, Kurt has touched Dave’s belly and he’s sure there’s not a solid six pack underneath that shirt, but Kurt can’t imagine this makes Dave self-conscious about his appearance. Kurt actually likes the way Dave looks, and he wouldn’t change anything about him.

How can Dave do this to himself? Kurt knows what bulimia is; God knows he's read ER pamphlets on all sorts of diseases and disorders while killing time waiting for the doctor or nurse on duty. He jokes that he's learned so much about diseases he could pass a med school entrance exam.

Kurt feels suddenly sad and worried and hopes he's wrong about Dave. He carefully turns around, still pretended to be asleep, and snuggles up against Dave’s warm body.

“Did I wake you?” Dave asks, sounding slightly worried.

Kurt faux sighs. “You got up?” he asks, faking oblivion because he doesn’t want to let Dave know he was awake or Dave will realize that he heard him.

Dave fidgets in his place and Kurt starts believing that maybe his assumptions are correct. “Yeah, I had to pee. Sorry if I woke you up,” he says, remorseful but nonchalant at the same time. “Let’s get some rest, alright?”

In spite of the darkness of the room, the moonlight illuminates Dave's small smile; it breaks Kurt’s heart, but he still smiles back. Instead of saying he was sick and threw up, Dave just lied and said he had to pee. Dave obviously didn’t want Kurt to know what really went down in the bathroom.

Kurt is still incredibly mad at Dave, since with or without an eating disorder, Dave is making him feel very bad about himself. But now, Kurt worries about Dave.
 
 
 
Jen Star: Kurt - pleasejenmstar on July 23rd, 2012 04:34 am (UTC)
I love this fic so much. I've found so few fics where both characters have ISSUES that aren't overdone and melodramatic but this one just hits all the right notes.
captain_love: Captaincaptain_love on July 24th, 2012 10:38 am (UTC)
Exactly what I love about the fic too... they both have weaknesses, and I'm glad Kurt has finally understood Dave's problem... Even if that will probably cause even more drama in the future.
littlestkitten: 11 bowtie // typoedsaratu on July 23rd, 2012 05:26 am (UTC)
I really really love this story. I can't even put into words how much I love it. I look forward to the next update!
captain_pihkal on July 29th, 2012 11:55 pm (UTC)
i just love it so much! i'm really happy kurt figured out what's going on, your writing is fantastic!